Courtesy in Conversation

The height of discourtesy is to break continually into the speech of other people.  Too many of us have the deplorable habit of cutting into conversation with monotonous repetitions of, “You don’t say so!”  “Really!”  or “My, my!”  Such interruptions are not only discourteous but extremely annoying to everybody present.

Only  a rude person will break into a story, to which others are listening, with the impatient, ‘Yes, yes – I heard that!” or “I know all about that – I was there.”  Not even a bore should be so crudely and tactlessly cut off.  Well-bred people have patience and courtesy enough to listen to a story no matter how often they have heard it before.

Inattention is another rude discourtesy.  Whether you are interested or not, always show an interest in what others are saying.  Be sincerely glad to see people, eager to hear what they have to say, interested even in their most trivial remarks.  Force yourself to be attentive even if you are bored, and let your expression show an intelligent interest.  If  you are truly sympathetic, this should not be difficult; and the effort will bring you big dividends in popularity. 

Ridicule, of course, is intolerable.  “Words cut deeper than weapons”  and only a rude, unthinking person will make another the butt of ridicule.  No one admires the man who makes another feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

Gossip has no place in the conversation of well-bred people.  If you want to make and keep friends, don’t say anything about a person that you would not be satisfied to have that person overhear.  It is best not to talk about people at all unless you can say pleasant and agreeable things about them.

The New Book of Etiquette by Lillian Eichler
Garden City Publishing Company, Inc.
Garden City 1945
New York